PANSY TWIST

Lunch Time

As I am on my lunch break chasing around my ceasar salad around with my fork, my mind begins to wander. I look at the tart white salad dressing and it makes me think about something else that is white: cum. It reminds me of my love of the man juice, what it feels like to have a mouth so full of it you cant keep it in and let it drool down your chin. Its been a while since a boy has busted his nut in my mouth. Are there different flavors to cum? Some of the cum I've tasted has been salty, some on the sweeter side. I've never gotten enough chance to really savor the flavor before I just take a big gulp and down it goes. Someone once told me that my cum was sweet, I think its because I'm a vegetarian. Does anyone have any tips on altering the taste of cum? Can I have a bunch of guys cum in my mouth at the same time so I can mix the different flavors like a surpee at 7-11? I want to have a variety, maybe 31 flavors. Just like Baskin Robbins.

So moving from San Francisco to Philadelphia I get asked a lot why I did it, and I have my reasons such as I actually wanted to move to NYC but got an amazing job in Philly, but everytime someone asks me about SF I can't help think of the glory days of San Francisco a simpler and more wild time.

So in no particular order I decided to compile some of my favorite memories, that I can remember at least...all from the TENDERLOIN/Nob Hill

- My 20th birthday party, I went with a bunch of friends to Deco Lounge in the TL, the whole night super coked out I kept complaining to old men how I felt old and was depressed, then they would ask me "How old are you turning today" and I would sigh and reply "twenty." I had fun with it but the best part was a birthday blow job I got in the basement later that night

- When I lived in Nob Hill, while walking home on a MONDAY night no later than 9 PM, I walked past a first level apartment with the window cracked open and the blinds pulled up just enough so my ex and I could see in, Thank God to our surprise it was a group of about 10 hipsters sitting around doing coke BLASTING The Cranberries, just enjoying life, we were so tempted to knock on the door but instead ended up in bed watching Chelsea Latley.

- While still 20 one night I got asked to sit in for the door guy at my roommate's Tuesday night party in the TL, free drinks, flirting with straight men by drawing peen on their hands and I let in every cute underage boy that came my way, including my 17 year old crush. Plus I made like 20 bucks and bought some valium with it.

- Days before my 21st after being up all night at various parties on a Sunday Night, we ended up at the Gold Dust Lounge at its opening hours at 7 in the morning already out of our minds for some breakfast mimosas, this guy kept telling me all night how much he liked me which turned me off then told me he was waiting for me to break up with my boyfriend so he could get with me, disgusted, I took another boy to the bathroom made out took out his cock and gave him a half of handjob before i got thirsty again, got another mimosa then trekked home with my then semi roommate. Stumbling out trashed we were lucky enough to catch the passing by cable car with all the tourist staring at us at 8 am, we proceeded home only the entire 8 blocks only to stop for more champagne and a cartridge of nitros.


SOOOO much more to tell, champagne fountains, dolores days, geary club, the phonebooth, la rondalla, radio habana, booze cruises...I don't even know where to start but I guess those were some of the freshest memories still lingering.

basically....STEP IT UP PHILADELPHIA!!!! I miss you SF!

midget cum is in

i had a dream that i was watching the wizard of oz in real life. except all the characters were midgets (a.k.a small ass people). They were all running around like cute little mice, then the next thing i knew i was in the back room getting all this cum poured down my throat. very strange, but sort of hot. they all had REAL SIZED thingys, too crazy.

WAKING THE WITCH

So the deadline for submissions draws near, and then CUM RAG enters phase 2! Editing! Probably not nearly as fun as phase one with the naked straight men, champagne interviews, meeting tons of new people, but we want this to be quality and fun for us and everyone else. We are cutting things close but have to make sure each submission is as hot and thick as then next. But things are coming along, thanks to everyone who reads so far and has given us positive feedback it really helps us when times are hard.

A little update...
-good pictures of scantily clad straight men
-interviews with some amazing bands
-submissions are well on their way from the land of Brooklyn's from an inspiration ally hot zine writer, our tall drink of whiskey fiction editor will blow yr mind with a short piece he wrote, some adorable skinny fags from our own Philadelphia and from the land down under from a sexy incredible Vegemite eating film maker!!
-Our own Cum Rag editors throwing in our 2 cents where ever we feel
-Some bleach blond drag queen astrologer to the stars will answer all your occult needs
and i'm sure im forgetting something amazing

but we been doing our best to keep this updated and work hard.

April 18th at the bike stop we will release the final copy of her. so wear you're best witch wear or nothing but a toe ring and a smile and get trashed, celebrate America and freedom kiss us. We also MIGHT release her at a party in NYC...

But before then come check us out at the dive in south philly every 3rd thursday, playing 80's punk/riot grrrl/77/electro/disco/grunge/whatever else as we get drunk

We will also be dj-ing Pi Lam's human bbq on April 4th, come get wasted and suck a college dick!

MORE UPDATES and previews SOON!!! Hopefully flyers too!
love ya bitch
xo
Xavier, Kevin and Alex

My New Fag Icon

...Hazel...from the magic bullet



what fag doesn't love a crazy haired, chain smoking, cat eye glasses wearing, old wench?...infact, reminds me of some of my closest girlfriends...




She is also a slut but embraces it...BTW I REALLY DO WANT A MAGIC BULLET

come to the dive tonight...Cumrag Boys will be dj-ing...what dj name do you think is better...Uncle Bano or Dj Powerbottom?

THE BOYS OF CUMRAG DJ THE DIVE

COME GET SHITTY WITH US AS WE PLAY SOME REAL GOOD SHIT. SOME PUNK SHIT, RIOT GRRL SHIT, PUSSY ASS BITCH SHIT, INDIE SHIT, WHATEVER THE FUCK SORT OF SHIT WE WANT. THE DRUNKER WE GET THE EASIER IT WILL BE TO GET US IN YOUR BEDS

Spring Fever

Looking at my work calendar today I noticed that spring is only a mere two days away. Spring is definitely in the air with all the other things it comes with, like fucking. Soon all the people and animals in this city will be busy getting their fuck on. I can smell people wetting their underwear already. This also makes me think of the endless possibilities of discreet craigslist style fucking in Rittenhouse Park this season. Dont sit on any sticky benches. A friend also gave me a lead this weekend that there is a man who hides in the bushes around the art museum area, jerks off, then runs after the joggers to bust his nut all over them. I think I'm gonna hang out there to try to seek him out. When I find him he wont have to chase me very far, I'll just get on my knees and tell him the bulls-eye is right across my left cheek.

SAUSAGE CITY

The trains in philly are really shitty and i always have to take a train and a bus to get home. The busses don't suck that much.

I tried to get change and the dude behind the glass pointed at a sign that said "Exact Fare Only." Luckily the train had arrived with perfect timing, and i hopped that shit and ran in, giving the SEPTA clerk a big fuck you.

i sat down, feeling sort of out of my mind and still halfway drunk from the night before. Across the train was a late 20s something business man eating a hot dog. He was hot, great jawline blue eyes. I replaced the hot dog with a mental image of a throbbing dick. Imagining him really enjoying this raging boner in between two buns, topped with "mancraut", instead of the sour kind. Poor guy had no clue that somebody was getting off to him having a quick bite to eat.

Do i look that hot when i'm eating a hot dog? do older men walking passed me feel their meaty gristle throb while i enjoy this fine german treasure? do they imagine me eating more than one at a time, or perhaps they want me to feed them these delicious sausages through a hole in the library bathroom...

i hop off the train and walk across the street to put these questions to the test. I pay 1.25 for a medium sized hot dog. ketchup, mustard, extra mayo. I walk towards the bus stop and go to town on this meat treat. Taking little bites, and inconspicuously eye fucking every passer byer. Men, women and children.Absolutely no living creature is safe for these next twelve minutes. This is the longest its ever taken me to eat one of these. Sitting down at the stop, i noticed a dude staring. He probably still lives at his moms house and has her bleach out the shit tracks from his over sized underwear hes had since he was 15. Not hot. I want to tell him that while he watches me eat my hot dog, my loins are crying.

Instead i looked down and noticed all the extra mayo had dripped down my shirt and onto my black jeans. The extra mayo that for all intended purposes was supposed to emulate wads of cum. Fuck this. I didn't feel sexxy anymore, and i didn't think anyone was fantasizing about how many hot dogs i could fit in my mouth without trying either. The bus gets there, so i get on and head the fuck home.

my boyfriend

Hey fags! Wanna have a good night?

Then smash those flirtinis on the ground and throw that cosmopolitan in the air.
Walk to your nearest corner beer store, hand them $2 and pick up a Hurricane.

Baby boy Hurricane is my main squeeze, and seduces me every time.
He keeps me warm during these cold winter months.

gg allin and the aids brigade

who the fuck doesn't get hard at the thought of gg allin?

Zine Update

The production of CumRagManifesto-the zine, is under way and so far so good! As some of you know, we asked a couple and then some of our favorite straights to do a little art with us for the hard version of the zine. This is a sneak peak of what you guys will be seeing.



Ned.


Jesse


Next week we shoot hardcore hunk, Brendy.

Faggy Fag Faggot stuff

These are some pictures I took with a disposable camera one night at a happy hour event

Bums

Hot mystery fag and some hoodrat

Baby Girl Xavier is a fag who plays beer pong

This is said hoodrat from above who I love dearly and might as well be a fag since she hangs around so many



This is Philadelphia Art and it makes me appreciate this city...sometimes


xoCumRag

Cruising on the Work Week

Early in the morning I have to haul my ass to trainings in a windowless room from 9-5. Although the topic of the training is useful to me, I can't help but be distracted. By what?

An adorable boy, nut just any typical cute boy but during the introduction/ice breaker I find out that is a LIBRARIAN!

SHUT THE FUCK UP! RIGHT?
(So I basically have a new fantasy of the week now)

This brunette mid-twenty something year old, adorably dorky boy in a collared shirt with thin white and red stripes which from a distance makes it appear pink , tucked into his blue Dickie's with a modest black belt that is holding them up further than they should but that is okay with me in hopes of seeing a bulge.

I get gay vibes but they could also just be that I know the fantasy of sucking his dick in between bookshelves might be the only thing that is going to get me through the duller parts of the training.

Some moments of the day I feel his eyes on me, you know? and then I look back at him and he looks away, but then again I sometimes run wild with my imagination, like the idea that he is a total Aries AND a power top who is all quiet and cute in person but in bed is totally aggressive and will throw me down and take control.

Maybe he will ask me to lunch, maybe I'll ask him to lunch. Alas I am on my lunch writing this blog.


**This is not him but I googled male librarian and he came up and I totally wanna do him too

Text flirting with str8 men

me: EW! come to Bob and Barbara's, they are playing our song!
kevin(str8 man): what's our song?
me: poker face. duh! come here yr homegirl is here.
kevin(str8 man): I fucking wish i miss u but no i cant its my friends bday
me: Ew. come sit on my face and get over it
kevin(str8 man): I fucking love u so much
me: whatever, i love you too, lets hang out this weekend
kevin(str8 man): I promise! This weekend. When im not working.


pretty much he is a hot man that can take it. i even tell him i want to objectify him and he loves it.

this city is only filled with good straight men and one day i'll meet the one of my dreams and he will only be gay for me.

This cum dumpster

This cum dumpster cannot equal what I have to offer and that is a constant cum dumpster who will get bored with you as soon as you give them the first sign of hope. AKA

Leave the night so swiftly and I still am here to review the travesty which was Bob and Barbabra's, a drag show that barely contained what I consider drag and bordered on what we might call cabaret but unfourtunetly we don't review that subject. Although the drink special allowed us loose tongues, I did not pay much attention to my drinks, to the other faggots there to get a good sense of who was doing what, like I could care more when "poker face" was playing and all i could do was text my EX that "his" song was playing, in the hope he would be disgusted, that only proved to my disadvantage because he claims he never heard the song which i considered a typical Aries move to prove that he did know but so typical to him to say he never heard it, therefore he said it was my song.

So anyways off that tangent, our new editor of our fiction/poetry/creative writing, he is a tall drink of whiskey, i bought him a few drinks and realized he is a good man and needs a good man, so i salute him in his hope of finding one in this city and to editing our fucked up zine!

um excuse you

This is for the Philly fags. What the fuck was up with the Barbary this past Saturday and all it's fag bashers? Seriously, your home boy almost got in three fights that night. I just dont get it. First of all- its the Barbary. Second of all- it was some 90's rave themed party. I thought every bitch up in there was gay, or at least not douchebags. I just dont like going out to places and getting harassed by drunk 21 year old bros from Jersey/the suburbs who come in on their one night in the city a week to prove how tough they are. Some dumbass even tried to follow us out and into my car, I mean I'm not scared to fight straight boys or anything dont get me wrong, I'm ready to rumble. But theres so many other places for them to choose, like Old City. I think thats what that place is for. 

FINGER BANGER/CUM RAG RELEASE

SOOOOO we just had a meeting with the people at the Bike Stop and we found out we are pretty sure our first party Finger Banger and our CUM RAG RELEASE party will be held there at the Bike Stop (on Quince Alley, Between Walnut and Chesnut/Between 11th St and 12th St) on APRIL 18TH!!!!. Where we also will be releasing our first issue of CUM RAG!!! We will be playing mostly punk oriented stuff like 77, 80's, Riot Grrrl...eh really whatever we feel

So if you are in the area come pick up an issue and dance and get a mustache ride from this guy

hai majik dongson

There is 6 inches of snow out and it's probably 9 degrees, and everywhere I turn are boys in basketball shorts! It was definitely not a dream because if it was, they'd be naked, face down ass up. I went up to one of these boys one night on my way to the train and asked "Hey cute boy in basket ball shorts. How do you keep those little guys from freezing?" He took me to the last cart on the EL and demonstrated how he kept those peach sized balls and his donkey sized dong from getting frost bite. After he busted a nut on his washboard abs (wich only took less than a stop) I got up pretending I was thoroughly disgusted and walked away.

SO lesson learned, all those boys who walk around in basketball shorts in snowy fucking weather aren't just crazy style retarded. They're also all down to fuck, and more than willing to suck. Apparently, basketball practice teaches you more than how to catch a ball and shoot a hoop. You also learn how to play with the big boys and catch a mean shot... to the face.

Sometimes life can be filled with wonderful choices...

AND SOMETIMES IT CAN BE FILLED WITH REALLY HARD DECISIONS!

or

????????????????????????????????

A.C.A.B. righhhttt?

so A.C.A.B.(all cops are bastards), I know, I know. But I tried to cruise this one cop for a while on Saturday,, after a evening to remember in fishtown and a trip to a thrift store, it was time to head back to West Philadelphia, so as I was waiting for the train I couldn't help but notice this total northeast trashy cop hanging around the station waiting for the same train I was. Okay, I wanted to suck his dick, he was HOT, and I kept trying to make eye contact, he def. knew I was looking at him but I don't think he swung my way although I was having all kinds of fantasies of blow jobs with him. Along came the train and as we both got on the same car, a minute after the train started moving someone went up to him and seriously SNITCHED someone else out..it was fucked. I am now having second thoughts...

I think I will stick to my normal taste of straight punk boys that I usually lust over, like one in my living room playing drums on rock band. The first thing I noticed about him after his hot face was his clean white socks that he had on and he wasnt wearing shoes. Now I don't have a thing for feet but clean white socks get me. New dream boy for me, wearing nothing but clean white socks and tattoos. I am SO into it.

MOTHER THERESA OF THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION

roadside service

i've never really been the biggest fan of road head. Its awkward and you're risking more than just a shot to the eye. But being a chicken head who likes to get a little teethy. i got the hugest urge to blow my cab driver tonight. Maybe it was the way the car kept sliding off the road (ice-y roads really turn me on), or possibly the way he kept mumbling numbers to himself under his breath. Who the fuck knows... All i wanted was for him to force me into the front seat by my neck, so that i could pay the fare with my tonsils. In the end, all i got was a huge boner and a shitty conversation. He didn't even flinch when i was eye fucking him through the mirror. 6 bucks later, i got out into the snow with a pair of wet socks and a wet dick.

second window please

We met that fateful night. You were doing your thing in the drive through at McDonalds. Me? I was in a drunken rage and my friend wanted a cheeseburger. I drove on up to the window, and you proceeded to spit mad game at me. I couldnt hear you and you asked if my friend was my "man" to which i replied "hell no". You so casually wrote me your number on a bag and slipped it in with my order of fries. You texted me this poem a few days later:

Ur Da Bullet 2my gun, Da Moon 2my sun, Da Rite 2ny wrong, Da Lyrics 2my song, Da Truth 2my Lie, My Homie Til I Die.

Now, I dont know how anyone could not be extremely flattered by that. I dont think I've ever had someone think of me so highly before. You got me sprung and I dont care who sees. I saw you again on Friday and Saturday nights this weekend. Friday night I was drunk as always and we decided to pull on through McDonalds. You were working thank god, and were so cute and giggly and excited to see me. I noticed some of your acne went away along with the grease. When I got to your window I propped myself up out my car window and asked for  kiss. You replied no at first but then you leaned out of your window and I kissed your cheek. I was seeing fireworks.  Last night my friends and I were craving some shit so we decided to say hello to go see you once again. This time you were in the back, hiding from me and the guy in the window that time had to go and get you. You magically turned our small fries into mediums this weekend, and this is just to say thanks. But I think I'm gonna try to hook a boy who works at Taco Bell instead.

i love the way you re invent yrself everyday

so I woke up drunk still, got stoned and realized on my couch laying there was my dream lover, hot straight man JON ABBOT, I think i might have waken him up by blasting gypsy by fleetwood mac or running down the hall yelling to my roommate "HOW DID I GET HOME LAST NIGHT?!" And as I got my answer to previous question on how I got home, I also got told the story on what I did upon arriving back at home base. Apparently I went up to the hot straight man and yelled at him "YOU ARE A TEASE! I SPEAK FOR THE WHOLE GAY COMMUNITY" then after verbally assulting the man I threw my phone and a notebook at him also hitting my roommate, then grabbing my roommate hugging her telling her I was sorry and it was aimed at Jon, I told her I loved her, then turned to Jon Abbot and telling him I hated him, which is simply hate manifested by drunken sexual frustation. ANYWAYS, I want to celebrate this man and I told him so...since I lost my hope for any fags in this city I still have one of my dream men on my mind..so he is sitting in my living room playing guitar hero and playing with my emotions and if only he knew the things i would let him do to me....I told him he was gonna be on here is this creepy? whatever...so Jon Abbot here's to you!

Secret Furry?

That's him with my friend who is a witch, I asked her to put a gay spell on him, she said that would come back to me X3

Here he is in my home state of California, and too think I gave up my bed and slept on the couch for him!

Anyways on top of being the hottest man in the tri-state area, he is also a really nice guy who actually lets me get away with saying all kinds of this shit in front of his face and drunkly let out my drunk sexual agression by pelting him with items from my purse. But he would do anything for anyone and has a good heart...god i hate him